Emotional ignorance is the opposite of emotional intelligence.

Emotional ignorance is the “unwillingness or inability of a leader to empathize with others.”

As a leader being unwilling or unable to empathize with team members can cause major misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict.

Here’s a quick story to illustrate…

Donna called me with a problem.

She was having an issue with one of her team members and had hit a dead end.

It seemed no matter how she tackled it, they ended up at the same place — no improvement.

As I listened to Donna I kept thinking, “she is interpreting the situation all wrong.”

Since they had been working with me for several months I knew the team member she was having difficulties with and I was certain Donna was interpreting her behavior wrong.

Donna thought this team member’s lack of improvement was due to an attitude of complacency.

I knew the only way we were going to solve this was by identifying and challenging the distortions in your interpretations so we could get to the real issue.

Here’s what I told her.

“Donna, remember we all have a tendency to judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.”

Let me repeat that again.

We have a tendency to judge ourselves by our INTENTIONS but others by their ACTIONS.

As we talked further, Donna began to see that it wasn’t complacency causing the issue, it was uncertainty…uncertainty about what to do.
(Side note: The circumstances were such that I can’t elaborate.)

Donna misinterpreted her team member’s intentions and was trying to apply the wrong fix to the problem.

Donna and her team needed to develop emotional intelligence. Without a high level of emotional intelligence you will almost always interpret other people’s actions and intentions incorrectly.

Here are a few tips* for checking false assumptions first:
Ask them: “Can I check out an assumption I have with you?”

When PERMISSION is granted ask: “I think that you think ________. Is that true?”
OR
“I noticed when you ________.
Are you upset or _______ with me?”

CALL TO ACTION STEP:
This week commit to getting clarity on something BEFORE you make an assumption about your teammate. *taken from “A Critical Emotionally Healthy Skill” by Geri and Pete Scazzero, 2010

STRENGTHEN YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Are you identifying and challenging the distortions in your interpretations so you can get to the real issue?
You may need to consider developing more emotional intelligence.

We must grow in self-understanding, confidence, personal effectiveness, and our ability to handle the challenges/opportunities of the workplace.

Live an inspired life,

Joe

P.S.
Did you know we offer a professional development options outside of back-to-school dates?

Call me at 843-209-3581, reply to this email, or schedule a call. There’s no obligation to book a discovery call and I guarantee to add value to your team during the call.

Attendees of my emotional intelligence program learn a set of principles that will change the way they view their lives as well as their performance on the job.

#emotionalintelligence #teamwork #leadership #communication